This witless, terminally irritating remake of a pretty fair 1968 Lucille Ball-Henry Fonda comedy
stars a miscast Dennis Quaid as an uptight Coast Guard admiral and Rene Russo as a supposedly free-spirited clothing designer who enter an ill-considered insta-marriage despite having -- count 'em -- 18 children between them from their previous unions. The newlyweds cram everybody into a ramshackle, 20-room lighthouse on the Connecticut shore, where the platoons of antagonistic step-siblings whine and scream and throw buckets of paint at each other, en route to an inevitable We Are Fami-Lee moment. Don't be surprised if, by the end, you find yourself shouting out for tougher reform schools and the mandatory sterilization of all U.S.-born grown-ups. Director Raja Gosnell force-feeds us gobs of frantic goodwill, and every last bad-acting kid in this cast deserves a one-way ticket back to the school play -- if not euthanasia.
Director: Raja Gosnell
Writer: Bob Hilgenberg, Rob Muir, Ron Burch and David Kidd
Producer: Robert Simonds
Cast: Dennis Quaid, Rene Russo, James 'Lil'JJ' Lewis, Linda Hunt, George Lopez, Rip Torn, Jerry O'Connell, Drake Bell, Dean Collins and Miranda Cosgrove