Cole Hauser is one of those guys whose line readings are utterly wooden, yet his eyes are always full of bugged-out intensity, giving him the ability to overact and underact at the same time. In this awesomely bad adventure, he gets stuck underground with a team of expert spelunkers while being chased by flying mutants. The cause of their mutations is a newly discovered parasite, which gets into Hauser's bloodstream, giving him super hearing and making the irises of his eyes turn star-shaped. Combined with his natural popping stare, the star contacts are extremely hilarious, but to the credit of the cast (among them Morris Chestnut and Piper Perabo), everyone manages to keep a straight face. There's no reason to see this film in a theater -- you'll hate yourself for paying full price. Plus, you'll need beer, and lots of it, to appreciate the movie properly.
Director: Bruce Hunt
Writer: Michael Steinberg and Tegan West
Producer: Tom Rosenberg, Gary Lucchesi, Andrew Mason Richard Wright and Michael Ohoven
Cast: Cole Hauser, Morris Chestnut, Eddie Cibrian, Piper Perabo, Daniel Dae Kim, Lena Headey, Kieran Darcy-Smith, Rick Ravanello, Marcel Iures and Brian Steele