As cheesy as the original 1979 haunted-house movie could be at times, its scares were rooted in the type of things you believed could happen: swarming flies, sudden waves of nausea, eyes glowing red in the distant night. This new version, all green filters and oversaturated colors, populated with computer-generated, Clive Barkeresque hallucinations, in no way feels like "a true story," and the scene with the flies attacking the priest feels like an afterthought. Yes, there are more cheap shocks this time around, and they're fun to watch, but you'll have forgotten most of them by the time you make it out to your car. As family patriarch George Lutz, Ryan Reynolds is no James Brolin, and he fails to shake the Van Wilder demeanor that ensures he should never be cast in anything but comedies again. And Eddie Murphy's infamous objection to the original story still stands: Why don't these white people just leave the house when they figure out there's a ghost in the house?