Slap Hitter: No Foolin' A's are going to Suck


Hate to break it to the East Bay, already nervous about the A's moving away, but I'm guessing our magic number is something like 2011. Lots of talk about how Billy Beane has cut and pasted his way past rebuilding right into contending, but I'm here to say we'll be battling to stay out of the basement from opening day.

The A's are currently getting the heads handed to them by the Chicago Cubs wrapping up Cactus League play today. And this beat down is being served up by our (cough) Opening Day starter, the decidedly low-end Dallas Braden. The A's plan on breaking camp with a rotation of number five starters.

We're going to get killed.

To quote the Simpsons, we're going with a wing and a prayer, but the wing is on fire and the prayer is being answered by Satan. Braden was a last chance September call up last year and he's our best. When he was last a regular hurler he finished the year 1-8. The rest of the Furious Five; Gallagher (getting hammered all spring), Eveland (needed a fire lit under his ample butt) and rookies Anderson (4 runs per 5 innings) and Cahill (don't ask).

We're going to need a bullpen to rest our bullpen. I've been quiet but hopeful on the power outages from our sluggers this spring, but the arms race is the one that is most depressing. We'll run a full preview before the season starts, but here's a spoiler in every sense of the word. A's 68-93. I'm counting on a rain-out. It's going to be that kind of year.— Kibby Kleiman