Slap Hitter: New Raider Era just as Pathetic as Old


Tom Cable, new coach of the Oakland Raiders has made us nostalgic for the Lane Kiffin year(s). The Silver and Lack got mauled by the New Orleans Saints today 35-3 in a game not quite as competitive as the score indicates.

Oakland did jump out to a 3-0 lead, which must have made the now 1-5 cellar dwellars all lightheaded and dizzy, so they just kind of stood around getting punked the rest of the afternoon. Highlights as usual were the Raiders getting off a good punt and finding their way back to the proper locker room at halftime.

The post-game chat on the radio provides the kind of painful comic relief that comes in a "laugh and the world laughs with you; cry and they really start laughing" school of humor.

It's hard for the Raider Nation to continually protect their sovreignty when they're defending themselves with whoopie cushions and custard pies. There isn't even much hope for an obscure beat down next week as the networks will make sure that HD vision is trained on Brett the Jet Favre, who comes to town next week to fill the stands with Gotham refugees and others who pray to the church of the quarterback legend, ensuring that the game will be sold out and shown nationwide (with a disclaimer that small children and those with weak hearts avert their gaze).

The season is barely a third over and offers a powerful counterargument for those who wish the NFL season with a few weeks longer. If this were a prize fight, we'd throw in the towel now, but because it is the Raiders that throw would be intercepted and returned for a touchdown and an unsportsmanlike conduct penalty. At least we helped New Orleans feel better about itself, it's the least we could do, I suppose for New York as well.— Kibby Kleiman