It's not a terrible premise -- sourpuss Texas ranger Tommy Lee Jones is forced to baby-sit five cheerleaders who've witnessed a murder. It is, however, terribly executed. If you've ever seen a movie, you'll already know the drill: The tough guy beats up potential date-rapists, and the bubbly chicks teach the guy how to woo a woman out of his league (Anne Archer); the villain then shows up in the third act to turn the proceedings into an action movie. Cedric the Entertainer deserves to have his moniker revoked with a glorified cameo that's anything but entertaining, and when an early scene between Cedric and Tommy culminates in a hand being shoved up a cow's rectum, you just know things aren't going to get much better. Director Stephen Herek's work on the first Bill and Ted movie is looking more and more like a fluke -- any helmer who can't even get a laugh out of Jones spoofing his Fugitive persona is, truly, most totally bogus.