I'm Poor! I Live in a Subdivision! This Sucks!



Since we've established that poor people who live in tony 'burbs die sooner than their ghetto counterparts, the next logical step is to find a poster boy for those long-suffering cul-de-sac misfits. And so we give you White Mike, Pleasanton's own up and coming rap star. See his muscles clench with the bitterness of being raised by a single mother! Watch his face contort with the gall of driving a run-down '87 Toyota Corolla! Read the lyrics to "Pleasanton," his angry ditty about P-Town's perfect white-picket fence world!

    Pleasanton Californ-eye-ay The place where everyone knows you by name The people are friendly The weather is great Everyone drives a Beamer Lives in an estate....

    Pick up the morning paper It's a brand new day! Cool breeze in the air Grin on my face Money in the bank My career's in place Life is so great And I feel chipper...

    Today's Family Day County fair's in town We'll go to Main Street Just toodle around Watch the streets blow We'll flow with the crowd How's that sound? Ice cream for the kids! Last one's rotten, heh heh! Wow - not one mean person Golly gee, everything seems so perfect

A one-bedroom Pleasanton apartment: $1100 a month. Authenticity: Priceless.

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