Herbie: Fully Loaded

Rated G 2005

To damn this as yet another needless and cynical remake in a season loaded with such con artists would be as pointless as the movie itself. The plot provides the slightest variation on its predecessors: Herbie, once more lifted off the scrap heap, winds up in the hands of a race-car driver (Lindsay Lohan as Maggie) in need of a miracle machine that can save the family business (run by Michael Keaton) and her would-be career. But Maggie's li'l Love Bug sees to it that she beats all comers, including NASCAR hot-shot Trip Murphy (Matt Dillon) and, eventually, Jeff Gordon and Dale Jarrett. This, however, comes after the most inexplicable plot twist ever to appear in a Disney movie: Herbie's suicide attempt, which involves him throwing a race, winding up in the possession of Trip, and getting tossed into a demolition derby where he does nothing to fend off his doom until Maggie shows up. I believe it was Don Knotts in Herbie Goes to Monte Carlo who put it best, when he asked of Xavier Saint-Macary, "What the fuck is wrong with people anyway?"

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Herbie: Fully Loaded

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