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Disconnected

Long-distance busy signa

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I've lived with my girlfriend for over a year now till about a month ago when she moved to the East Coast so now we're in a long-distance relationship. I supported her move because she's following her dream career and we decided to stay together since communication nowadays is pretty easy. But every time I try to text or call she responds that she's too busy or exhausted. I could understand if this was once in a while but it's literally all the time. This has put a strain on our communication. I became irrational with these red flags and I looked up her address and a guy's name popped up including his phone number. Then I did perhaps the most irrational thing ever and looked up our phone bill and his number is everywhere on her section of the bill. I asked her who this dude is and she states he's her landlord and employer. That's not a red flag, but him calling at 1 AM when I was working nightshifts before she moved is. I confronted her and she became defensive and turned everything back on me. I've admitted to my wrongdoing in violating her privacy and I've repeatedly asked her to talk about it but it always turns into a fight. We've been together two years and I've never met any of her friends or her 20-year-old son. What do you think?

—I'm Getting Nothing Outta Relationship Except Drama

I think there's only so much time you should waste on a person who doesn't have time for you—to say nothing of a person who isn't particularly kind to you and, after two years, hasn't integrated you into her life in a meaningful way. I also think you need to ask yourself what's more likely, IGNORED: your girlfriend—who can't take your calls now but could take that guy's in the middle of the night when you two were living together—is living with and working with a guy she knew before moving away or that your girlfriend is living with and working with and sleeping with a guy she moved across the country to be with? I think the latter is far more likely. IGNORED, do the right thing for yourself and end it.

mail@savagelove.net. Follow Dan on Twitter @FakeDanSavage. On this week's Lovecast, Ask a Sub's Lina Dune, and the anxious return of "Dr. Bummer." www.savagelovecast.com

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