What seemed like such a good idea on paper -- pairing the writers and star of the merrily obscene Bad Santa with the director of the underdog-kiddie hit School of Rock for a redo of the 1976 film The Bad News Bears -- is instead the cinematic equivalent of a slack, lazy, and incompetent cover tune performed by amateurs. You will still recognize a little of what remains onscreen, but the plastic surgeons have botched the job, rendering The Bad News Bears hideously deformed. Those who have any memory of or affection for Michael Ritchie's original will watch Richard Linklater's redo with eyes wide open in appalled amazement. Latecomers will wonder what the fuss was all about; why, after all, would anyone want to remake this crap? Everything about it is wrong: the casting, the editing, the writing, the cinematography, and the direction. Where Ritchie satirized parents' obsession with a kid's game, Linklater is merely crude for crude's sake.