A Thomas Kinkade Christmas



Good lord. Thomas "Painter of Light" Kinkade has put out a straight-to-video Christmas special, based on his so-bad-they're-good paintings. From his base of operations in Carmel and Monterey, Kinkade is truly one of California's most unintentionally wonderful cultural ambassadors; really, you gotta love the man. Here's a guy who sells "original" works that are really churned off an assembly line and daubed with a few flecks of paint in the corner. He suckers people into buying them on the grisly notion that once he dies, they'll double in value and are therefore more "investments" than "paintings." Although he pimps his Christianity to sell more maudlin crap, he's been known to get really shitfaced and ritually urinate in public to mark his territory; he even gave a Winnie the Pooh figure a golden shower at an Anaheim hotel. And now he's got a movie!

Here's just some of the more glorious details about the flick. It stars Peter O'Toole, which we can understand, since he's been a whore for decades and probably bonds with Kinkade on the drinkie-winkie stuff. But Marcia Gay Harden as costar? The most beautiful gangster moll in cinematic history? Please tell us she's doing it for the kitsch; we'd hate to think she's that hard up for cash. Finally, Kinkade apparently used Stanley Kuckrick's movie "Barry Lyndon" as inspiration. Read the whole, gloriously tacky story here, courtesy of Vanity Fair.