Worst Shit Ever
The horrific impending
nuclear apocalypse, as portended
by the Black Eyed Peas’ “My Humps.”
This cannot possibly be real.
Instrumental Innovation
The dude in Thee More Shallows
who plays the giant orange suitcase.
Rhythm guitar is so 1995.
Abstract Cultural Phenomenon
Posters to the Craigslist “Tickets Wanted” forum who appeal for lower prices because they’re “true fans.”
A slavish devotion to Paul McCartney rarely benefits you financially.
Bygone Concert Experience
The winsome minimalist approach
of Broken Social Scene.
Five guitarists? Five?
This Song Will Change Your Life
Imogen Heap’s “Hide and Seek.”
What a six-headed mutant beauty queen self-harmonizing in the shower will sound like in 2085.
Internet Dalliance
Irate mashup DJs who use their blogs to insinuate that I’ve fellated the UPS guy.
Perplexing.