The Datsuns’ catalogue of onstage guitar-god moves is clearly, gleefully plagiarized.
“Pretty much all moves that you could ever possibly pull off have been done before,” Christian says.
But witness the glorious debacle of a Datsuns show for even 45 minutes and themes emerge. “I’ve heard people describe some of our moves as ‘Datsun moves,’ but I’ve never really thought about that,” Christian continues. “I don’t really stand there onstage going, ‘Alright, now I’m gonna do this move.’ It just happens. You’d have to ask somebody else to analyze us. Slow down the video and analyze it and sort of describe what our signature moves are, like some sort of football play, break it down for ya. We’re not the ones to do that. Somebody else will have to do that.”
Don’t mind if we do. Here are five go-to items from the Datsuns playbook. Enthusiasm trumps originality every time, folks. It also helps if you’ve got an armadillo in your trousers.
Name: The Large-Mouth Bass
Execution: Flail your guitar about as if it’s a fishing rod and you’ve just hooked the prize catch from The Old Man and the Sea.
Message Conveyed: “I struggle mightily to tame this Beast of Rock. But I shall prevail, mount it upon my wall, and throw beer cans at it.”
Name: The Religious Conversion
Brief Description: Drop to your knees and flail about wildly, as if receiving a bolt of lightning or a transmission from Mount Olympus.
Message Conveyed: Unintelligible (probably speaking in tongues).
Name: The Duel
Brief Description: Cross necks with your fellow guitarist; bob heads in unison.
Message Conveyed: “We are the knights who say Whhhhhhoooooooaaaaa!!!!!!“
Name: The Deck of the Titanic
Brief Description: Jump onto the drum riser and strike either a Jesus Christ pose or the crane kick position from The Karate Kid. Solemnly survey your Kingdom of Rock.
Message Conveyed: “I’m the king of the world!”
Name: The Hand Job
Brief Description: Extend neck of guitar into crowd, whereupon audience members can bang on it or strum it or otherwise contribute to the aural madness.
Message Conveyed: “By sharing the means of my artistry with you, I am celebrating music’s communal nature and breaking down the ‘fourth wall’ between the artist and the audience. I also hope to replicate this experience in my tour bunk after the show, except without the guitar. No dudes, either.”
