I love my boyfriend of three years, but I fucked up. We’ve had
our ups and downs — he broke up with me for two months last
summer because he said he was “young and needs to feel free” —
but we’ve always worked through things. He is super supportive of me,
and we’ve both really grown a lot as people together. But despite the
affection and love, I just don’t feel wanted. I don’t feel like he
wants to fuck my brains out like he used to. In fact, he rarely does,
even when I try to initiate sex. Over the last six months, I’ve
struggled with depression and not feeling sexy, and not feeling wanted
is making both things worse. Last year, we talked about opening up our
relationship, but I wasn’t really comfortable with it.
Long story short, I went to visit a friend in another city who
lives practically next door to a former fling of mine from four years
ago, and I ended up fooling around with the former fling. It wasn’t
full sex, but it was highly inappropriate. And yet … it felt so good
to be wanted so badly.
I feel like a terrible person for so many reasons. I told my
boyfriend — he didn’t respond emotionally, and after 45 minutes
he got up and left and said he would call me when he knew how he felt.
I want him to forgive me, but I have a feeling he can’t. I don’t want
to cause him any more pain than I already have, but I have no idea how
to do that. Do I give him space? Do I go on with my life?
Self-Loathing Unfaithful Tramp
Go on with your life, SLUT. Suicide seems a little drastic, given
the circumstances, so let’s not open a vein over this.
It seems to me that the boyfriend was causing you a great deal of
pain before you caused him pain. He has essentially rejected you again
and again — the time he broke things off so he could “feel free”
(what are you, a cage?) and the many times he’s rejected you sexually
and made you feel unwanted. Your sexual and emotional needs were not
being met, and you succumbed to the attentions of a man who made you
feel wanted. And that was unfortunate, SLUT, but it wasn’t entirely
your fault. If the boyfriend wasn’t sending you the mother of all mixed
signals — doesn’t want to leave you, doesn’t want to fuck you
— you would have been either single and free to fool around on
that trip or not at all interested in fooling around because you were
getting what you needed at home.
So feel a little bad about what you did — you were technically
involved with someone else when you messed around with that former
fling — but don’t feel too bad. This relationship needed to end;
it wasn’t making either of you happy. Think of it this way: You slammed
your car into a brick wall and totaled the thing. But it was a lemon,
SLUT, and now you’re free to get yourself a new ride.
I have been considering becoming a woman. But the straight women
I have talked to about this are very reluctant to assist me in my
transition from being male to being female. I am wondering if you think
that lesbians might be more open-minded in assisting me in my
transition.
Gender Identity Readjustment Looming
You’re considering becoming a woman — that’s wonderful, GIRL,
very interesting, very compelling stuff, always a special time in a
man’s life. But it’s not like you’re rushing a sorority; current
members — the straight women you’ve approached, the lesbians
you’re thinking about approaching — are not obligated to answer
your questions, offer you assistance, host a tea, or take even the
slightest interest in your transition. Find a support group for MTFs,
GIRL, and you’ll find plenty of women — longtime members and new
pledges — interested in hearing about your journey. But leave the
women you meet in the normal course of your life — straight women
and lesbians who are not your friends — alone.
There have to be people out there, walking among us, who enjoy
having sex with those stretched earlobe holes, right? The first cook to
be kicked off the new season of Top Chef had her lobes stretched around
what looked like rims from P. Diddy’s ride. I’m writing for
confirmation that this “community” exists.
Happy With Seven Holes
As a general rule, HWSH, if it can be fucked, someone out there
somewhere is fucking it, has fucked it, is about to fuck it, and has
already posted videos of them fucking it on XTube. Not every hole gets
a “community,” HWSH, but every hole gets its fair share.
My hubby wants to do anal for my first time, him fucking me, and
that’s fine — but I’m only going to let him do it after he eats
his own goo! Standoff! We’ve been married 17 years, and I think it
would be hot! He thinks not! I say fair trade! I go down on him after
he puts it in me sometimes, so I know how I taste! Am I the only woman
who has ever asked her husband to eat his goo?!?
He is willing, finally, because he really, really wants to get
into my ass. But was it wrong for me to ask? Am I a freak?!? I’ve asked
around, and all my girls think I’m crazy and that it’s a bad sign about
our relationship! But we’ve got two great kids and we love each other
and we have a really happy life! I just want to see my hubby eat his
goo! My girls tell me I must be trying to make him gay! Nope! I just
figured if he gets something he wants, I get something I want! Am I a
freak?!? Please help!!! Tell me I am not a freak! Tell me others write
about this!
You are respected in our household, and my husband will hear your
answer because I intend to read it to him!!!
Great Oozing Orgasms
You’re a freak, GOO — not that there’s anything wrong with
that, of course. As for the particulars …
You made granting your consent to fulfill his fantasy contingent
upon his consenting to fulfill yours. That was manipulative and unfair
of you, GOO, but it was also pretty freaking hot, just the kind of
good-natured, give-and-take-no-prisoners power play that keeps the sex
interesting after 17 years of marriage. And I don’t just say that as a
fan of goo-eating generally — you might have gotten a “yes”
quicker if you didn’t insist on calling it “goo” — but as a fan
of sexual adventures and pushing boundaries.
You set a bar for the husband to clear, GOO, but you didn’t set it
too high or impossibly high. You weren’t asking him to let you fuck his
ass first, fair but more challenging, or to swallow some other dude’s
load, unfair and extremely challenging. You didn’t ask him to do
something he absolutely, positively couldn’t do, and you didn’t ask him
to do something you haven’t done yourself (swallow his loads, taste
your own juices).
Finally, there’s nothing gay about a guy eating his own come —
unless, of course, he’s eating it off some other guy.
