.6:30 p.m. Monday: Best Date Night for New Parents

You’re not gettin’ any, that’s a given. But just because you have a new family member whose only skills to date are sucking milk, spitting it up, soiling diapers, and keeping you awake — okay, they’re also pretty dang cute — there’s no reason you two can’t go out for dinner and a movie. That’s why, if you show up at the Parkway Theater Monday evenings for the 6:30 or 7 showings, you’ll likely run into more babies than you’ve ever seen in one place — unless you were in Berkeley for the setting of the world breastfeeding record last year. We’re talkin’ about the Baby Brigade, folks, and it doesn’t hardly matter what’s playing: You’ll go because you need to get the hell out of the house! At the Parkway, you get to kick back on old sofas (more comfy with a blanket and pillow from home), eat pizza, and drink beer — hey, easy there, Ms. Milk Factory! The Parkway shows late-run flicks that can be hit-or-miss, but even when the movie flops, you get to check out who just had whom, who’s discovering their hands, who’s smiling, and who’s crawling. If your little one is walking, it’s probably too late for Baby Brigade; you’re banned when the kid hits twelve months, for reasons obvious to any parent of a squirming one-year-old. Tables are set up for changing diapers, even in the men’s room, and all this for a mere five bucks admission. Show up a half-hour before showtime to snag a couch.