Slap Hitter: A's are lightweights

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Sports Illustrated says so and everything. In a survey of all thirty big league teams the Athletics were the least big of all! The A's average weight per player is just a biscuit over 200 pounds. The White Sox, by the way are in danger of stretching their hosiery to the breaking point, but filling up on Windy City pizza will do that to a body. And here we are in Oakland putting arugula on our pies.

Sports Illustrated says so and everything. In a survey of all thirty big league teams the Athletics were the least big of all! The A's average weight is just a biscuit over 200 pounds. The White Sox, by the way are in danger of stretching their hosiery to the breaking point, but filling up on Windy City pizza will do that to a body. And here we are in Oakland putting arugula on our pies.

For anyone left still watching the thin A's this weekend, it's a battle royale for silver in the American League West. The slivery A's are shedding starters as quickly as pounds. It's Baisley-to-Patterson-to-? on the rare double plays converted. Turns out we would have been better trading everybody. Shortstop Crosby's going to sit for much of September, second baseman Ellis is going to be a bobble-head or poster or something, but mostly he will remain disabled through the early fall. Third baseman substitute Jack Hannahan will himself be replaced by a paler copy of a third baseman yet, and only the cheap laugh that tomorrow's starter is named Out-man is worth turning to the box score to check out.

Something that does have a kind of train-wreck appeal is listening to the radiocasts these days. It doesn't take much (a 3-0 deficit heading into the bottom of the first) to get Korach and gang to spin stories about the Texas League, dining in Las Vegas, football or pretty much anything other than a ground out to second base for the third time in the inning. It's like a telethon or public access TV or election night coverage where they're stuck on the air for hours and have to fill the time with something other than Emil Brown's struggles against right handed pitchers.

If a Godot-lite experience is what you want to hear on AM or stero FM (where you can really hear what it sounds like to take eight pitches per at bat with Jack Cust) tune in to A's baseball in one of these droning games with three weeks yet to play. The content, like the A's themselves, can't get a whole lot lighter. Extra batter up!— Kibby Kleiman

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