Oh My God! Danity Kane!

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Face it: celebrities are better than you. Last month, Tommy Lee showed up to flog some overpriced consumer fetish at San Francisco's Westfield shopping center, and forty adult women threw their panties at a man whose career seems to consist of infecting his girlfriends with Hepatitis C. If San Francisco can't resist the allure of gratuitous fame, what chance does poor Walnut Creek have? And so we give you the ladies of girlgroup du jour Danity Kane, who made a recent appearance at the WC's Nordstrom to emcee a fashion show or something. Watch these pop culture goddesses, uh, stand there. Listen to the suburban East Bay's teenyboppers melt into puddles of progesterone. Come face-to-face with the terrible truth about human nature.

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