by Lauren Gard
Beware: Shopping can be dangerous. And not just because of your credit card's sky-high APR. "The nature of retail is that it's a dusty environment," Bruce Paterson, a Walnut Creek allergist, told the CoCo Times in an uber-serious article today. "That can be a significant irritant for some people." He also pointed out that "new clothes are treated with chemicals that retard moths" and that he's treated patients who broke out in rashes after wearing 'em. This is why we at the Express suggest shopping only at Sak's Fifth Avenue, or Neiman Marcus, even if it means going to San Francisco. Moths so don't hang out there.
Shopping's potential damage isn't merely physical. If you shop solely to lift your spirits - well, quit it already. Laying down cash ain't gonna make you happy. "'The important thing is to get centered by consciously recognizing what's going on," Walnut Creek psychologist Lorraine Granit said. After that, she noted, you've got three choices: "Leave the mall, call a friend, maybe even meditate."
Great ideas! But wouldn't it be cool to, like, speed away from the mall in a new Mini , or phone that pal on the pink Juicy Couture T-Mobile Sidekick you bought on eBay ? And meditating definitely requires a cute little meditation outfit, like something from Christy Turlington's lux Nuala line ...