by Rachel Swan
To "Doin' What Comes Naturally" from the musical Annie Get Your Gun:
Hey GOP, You don't know me My Name is Sarah Palin I am running for VP Doin what comes natcherly
The convention was a whirlwind Got to hang with John McCain Now he and I are soul mates And we ducked the hurricane.
I have to set my record out I don't have much to say I don't want to exaggerate But I'll do so any way.
Folks are dumb where I come from Our books were made for burnin' Still I say, hey vote for me Doing what comes natcherly.
As a papoose, I hunted moose, And ran around the tundra So I aint gonna hug a tree Doin what comes natcherly
I was once a beauty queen I really was a looker OK I came in number three Doing what comes natcherly.
You don't need to know what I do or say Just go ahead and vote for me anyway! You don't need to know what I say or do, Just take it on faith, I'm a Christian, like you!
I was mayor, of who-knows-where I couldn't keep a budget But I moved up in Alasky Doin what comes natcherly
Played politics, and dirty tricks Those guys all need reformin' I guess God left it up to me Doin what comes natcherly
My Senator in Laska He bought a shaky bridge I took him right to task a But I kept the overage.
Yes, as the gov, I gave a shove To chefs and planes and bridges But I kept the dough for me Doin what comes natcherly
I love big oil, I am their foil I'll do what they are biddin' It's man's right to ride a Humvee Doin what comes natcherly
An A-OK, to the NRA My cold hands you'll be pryin' A trigger can make me happy Doin what comes natcherly
You don't have to know what the framer's meant When they gave us our arms in an A-mend-ment You don't have to be a Ma-li-sha-yay Just keep writing checks to the NRA.
About sex-ed, break fast in bed Is all I'm advocatin' I just hate promiscuity It's doing what comes natcherly.
My daughter may be preggers With her boyfriend what's-his-name We brought her up on abstinence So I'm really not to blame!
On Russ-shi-A, I'll tell you what I'll really keep an eye on I'll spy across the Bering Sea! Doing what comes natcherly
You don't have to know if they're left or right, Just keep the commies square in your rifle sites! You don't have to know if their friend or foe, Just have a tag ready for their toe.
I've said my piece, no questions please Don't delve into my background On diplomacy or the economy I'll go by what come natcherly.
But the thing my record reflects is My potential looming big And I'm sexy, you big sexist Go put lipstick on a pig.
So vote for me, for your VP Come on now, punch my ticket We're not like Bush and old Cheney We do things much more natcherly.