by Rachel Swan
As of September 22, flipping your radio dial to 99.7 FM brings you the ultimate bubblegum pop experience, characterized by tunes like Mariah Carey's "Fantasy Baby" and Tone Loc's "Funky Cold Medina," plus chirpy soundbites from characters named Brad and Taysia touting the salutary effects of what's known in the industry as "hot urban adult contemporary" [i.e., an escapist '80s or '90s-era sountrack similar to what you'd hear on the average KMEL flashback mix, but without any hint of a gangsta edge]. As reviewers on San Francisco's Yelp quibble over whether or not Brad and Taysia's upbeat, canned mixes are a vast improvement over the oldies medleys that characterized 99.7 FM back when it was KFRC -- an 82-year-old nostalgia station whose call letters once stood for Keep Forever Radiating Cheer, according to its Wikipedia entry -- we at the Express decided to make our move and feel good at Brad and Taysia's behest. The aural assault began at 2 p.m. on Tuesday with Nice & Wild's "Diamond Girl," followed by Silk Tymes Leather's "Do Your Dance," followed by Brad comparing the feel-good mix to "that sexy dream about Ryan Seacrest that I keep to myself," followed by Shakira's "Hips Don't Lie," followed by Brad promising to be back with more music that makes you feel good, faster than you can get through a tootsy roll. Ewwww. Yelp reviewer Hong K. hit the nail on the head when he suggested Movin' could be instigating a "format war" with its next door neighbor, 98.1 KISS FM, which also cozily fits the adult contemporary template. Apparently, both stations derive great pleasure from playing Madonna and Sister Sledge ad nauseum.