.Letters for the year of 2002

Of bricks and Satan, stolen DNA and poetic protest, Nazis, Mussolini, arch conspiracies, women in heat, and Chris Thompson's soul.

Letters We Censored
For our Year in Review issue, we’ve compiled some of our favorite letters and phone calls of the year. In the interest of verisimilitude, all spelling mistakes, punctuation errors, and other grammatical mishaps are the writers’ own.

Good thing we have insurance
Note wrapped around a rock thrown through our front window on the day we published part two of our series on Yusuf Bey and his associates (“Blood & Money,” November 13 & 20)

Don’t fuck with the police

Satan is not in right now: May I take a message for him?
Anonymous voicemail left for reporter Chris Thompson following publication of same series

Hello, Satan.

The story Marin County’s media wouldn’t touch
In 1994 I began to suspect that my sperm was being used to create children of mine. In 1996 I became convinced of it and since then have continuously reported it to the police. As of today’s date they still refuse to investigate my complaint, and I now have well over 250 children attending Marin County Grade Schools. That is, I should have at least 250 children there because that is how many photographs I have taken of children whom I can prove are mine by means of DNA testing.

I have presented these photographs to the police and district attorney. Their official comments about the unmistakable resemblance of my children is that “all Hispanic children look similar.” The real reason behind their excuses is that some of my children can be found in the families of Marin County police, judges, and district attorneys.

Believe me. I am Marin County’s “top secret” in that the citizens employed in law enforcement are afraid of you finding out about this.

DNA EVIDENCE IN YOUR FACE

You don’t have to be a DNA expert to understand the visual manifestations of parental child DNA replication. The statement, “you have your dads eyes,” hands, or feet, is sufficient to convey the meaning of “visual manifestations of DNA replication.”

YOUR ASSISTANCE

Often times when the general public is informed about a personal tragedy they offer financial assistance. I can use immediate financial assistance and attorney representation. I have informed the local news media about my situation, asking them to help by printing my allegations to the general public, but the Marin IJ, Pacific Sun, Novato Advance, and the rest of the Bay Area news media is staying away from me.
Paul Barrier, Novato

Yes, this is a test
Re: FDR, of the Wealthy & Powerful, said in public “I welcome their hatred” …

Now we’re “blessed” with the ungored oxymoron of a glorfied “Cowboy-Butler” hellbent on “Service!” to that same Wealth & Power. Hellbent! American generosity of spirit iron-fistedly second-guessed

Ooo Coo Ca Choo J. Edgar Ashcroft Jesus loves the ones you make life so much harder for … and George of Poppy’s Jungle-smack! thanks for sharing your incontinent profit-jones! the boardroom monkey on your back! Bohemian Grove prayer Meetin’s, Skull & Bones! Dapper Barbarians, sodden, gleamy Oilygarchs! such mesmerizing gall …

you count on us against the Poor to cast our votes like stones! lipserving Christ to plow the devil’s field, singing hyms & pledging “under God” to furrow the phony moral high ground of pharisees

Is this a test? A man who thinks compassion means stepping OVER instead of ON the Downtrodden!

I get it! it’s not a Bitter Cup half-full … it’s all, all a cheezy scoundrel’s-last-refuge national pop-up, a window to close with a point & click, a wormy screen-saver … NOT the Program. Right? NOT our Founding Father’s Uncle Sam …
Michael Masley, Artist General (The Artist General is a cabinet-level self-appointment for life)

Praising with faint damnation
Anonymous voicemail to editor following publication of our cover story about World War II reenactors (“Jesse’s Heroes,” April 17).

I’ve been reading y’all for a long time but I think that writing about guys dressing up as Nazis is a drag, and I’m not Jewish even, I’m part German. C’mon man, there’s people out there starving on the streets. Kind of disturbing, but I’m sure that you have to get whatever attention you can. Who cares about these morons running off pretending they’re soldiers? Millions and millions of people were killed during that time.

It was still a good story though; I have to admit it was well-written and all that.

The Italian roots of the Bush economic program
RE: Mainstream new stories on Bush privatizing Gov’t Jobs

On 10/28/1934, The New York Times ran a similar story on their Letters to the Editor page, with the headline “Benefits of Fascism Viewed on Birthday: In Thirteen Years Regime Regarded as Having Accomplished Many Laudable Things in Italy.”

The letter writer: a Mr. B. H. NAMM, Brooklyn. Yet The New York Times gave this NOBODY one-third of the entire page to expound on the virtues of fascism. He described fascism as the CORPORATE STATE, the total PRIVATIZED STATE (Bush, privatization, sound familiar?).

Now maybe I’m wrong? Maybe Mr. NAMM wasn’t such a big hit with his girlfriend? Maybe she knocked out one of his teeth, or maybe one of the M’s from his name? Instead of NAMM, how about trying NAM? How about the National Association of Manufacturers, whose member corporations did a brisk business in Mussolini’s Italy and Hitler’s Germany?
Stuart Piacente, Berkeley
Letter came complete with a photocopy of the aforementioned 1934 letters page.

The real story behind the origin of Darth Vader
Lucasfilm Ltd. is organized crime in the Bay Area, having committed more heinous crimes than any ever committed in Bay Area history. First of all, they are owned and operated by Hollywood Jews, who have always been “white racists” and who were sponsored to come here to kill America. They were sponsored by England, the white racist capital of the world, to come here and kill the USA.

Lucasfilm consists of all the retard and losers of Hollywood, who couldn’t make it in the film industry. They were sent here under the command of George Lucas, a Spanish-surnamed homosexual with an IQ of 84. They were sponsored with the help of the California state Senate, which turned the keys to the state treasury to Hollywood in exchange for extramarital sex with Hollywood actresses. In other words, Californian’s hard earned tax dollars are going to support organized crime.

The first thing Lucasfilm did was to buy up property at the highest prices possible to bring up property values. Then they, slowly but surely purchased all local politicians and all the police departments. They already owned the FBI, which assists organized crime in the harrassment and murder of honest citizens around the country. In fact, the local FBI office takes orders directly from Lucasfilm.

Lucasfilm murdered Marin County supervisor Gary Giacomini. George himself fired the shot from a .22 caliber pistol. Giacomini, blinded and mortally wounded, lay in a San Francisco warehouse for four days. George raped him before he died and Steven Spielberg came up to gloat before he died.

Shortly thereafter, Lucasfilm murdered Klaus Kinski and, a few years later, they ordered Willie Brown, whom they bought right off the bat, to murder Herb Caen. He did, during a homosexual act, with a bullet in the brain.

The worst thing that the Hollywood Jews did was to murder over 100,000 of Oakland’s African-Americans. The deportation occurred in the late 90’s with the help of the US Army and US Navy. Acessories after the fact in mass murder include: William Brown, Mayor of San Francisco; Gerald Brown, Mayor of Oakland; Jesse L. Jackson, former Presidential candidate and ex-President James Earl Carter of the state of Georgia. “Accessories after the fact” is only accurate up to a point. These four guys actually murdered in Oakland. They are all bought and paid for. Willie only murdered one. Jesse killed one. Jerry did three or four. Jimmy, the Scotch-Irishman and self-described “fan of England,” did seventeen.

As incredible as it seems, this is all true. England rules the world with the help of the US military and arbitrarily orders killings around the globe. As many as 500,000 per year are killed. The Hollywood Jews came in as overseers for an English-dominated slave state that was once known as, in the words of Abraham Lincoln, “the last, best hope of earth.” That hope, it seems, is now dead.
john smith, anytown ca

Express murders Palestinian children
The glamorous-sounding Uprising is not an uprising and has no military goal whatsoever. It was deliberately set in motion for political ends, to score propaganda points, and most points are scored when children are killed. Palestinian techniques for achieving the desired high totals of their own dead children mark a new low in the world’s sorry record of conflict. You start with kids throwing rocks, then position a sniper behind them so that, hopefully, they catch some return fire. Big points, photos of wounded kids on stretchers, mothers screaming. Or you set up your mortar on a certain roof and lob shells into a Jerusalem marketplace. When an Israeli shell hits that roof in return — why, my goodness, it was an orphanage! Major coup. Of course children are hurt. That’s the idea.

The letters section of the Express, having become the premier local outlet for anti-Israel propaganda, is a vital link in the program. Without media forums where heinous acts are glamorized instead of shamed, where truth is turned on its head as to who targets noncombatants in this conflict, there would be no point in the death of these children. You have played your role in this tragic farce. Hence my headline: Express murders Palestinian children.
David Miller, Berkeley

Two hours of living dangerously
I would like to put in my two cents worth regarding the incredible performance of Diane Ladd in the movie, Unfaithful (Movies A to Z, May 8). Seldom have I seen such a powerful, yet delicately subtle representation of how a woman really feels when she is helplessly and overpoweringly “in heat.”

The performance ranks right up there with Deborah Kerr in From Here to Eternity and with Sergourney Weaver in The Year of Living Dangerouly.
Name withheld

Free Savage Love
Voicemail left on June 10, following an issue in which the column Savage Love didn’t run in the paper.

I would expect an explanation when you’re going to issue, after a year, an issue with no Savage Love. That’s pretty crappy. So an explanation in print would have been a little helpful. You know, down there in the index where you normally put “Savage Love,” you could put “Savage Love on vacation,” “Savage Love in exile,” “Savage Love no longer available.” Should I be writing to your parent company, is that what I should be doing? Because I am deeply disturbed.

It’s truly wrong
Anonymous voicemail received following publication of Chris Thompson’s story about the Acts Full Gospel church (“Preaching Prosperity,” April 24).

I am praying for Chris Thompson’s soul. What you’ve done is mock our church and I feel sorry for you. I’m very sad to know that East Bay would print such a story with the vicious lies and things that you said in this that aren’t true at all. … You’re going to give account for that one day. It’s truly wrong. I pray for all of you.

The mire of rant
E-mail to the listserv of Oakland artist Rob M. Harper, to which we found ourselves subscribed.

Rob, I appreciate the feeling with which you express your concerns. Unfortunately, your syntax and your punctuation give off a quality of babble.

Unless you observe even minimal rules of English, you will never rise above the mire of rant.

Respectfully, one of the many on your list-serv.
[email protected]

Whoops, Clair did it again
Don’t you have anything better to do than bash some of the best musicians in the country (Planet Clair, July 24). go listen to britny spears and make some friends.

John 123

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